Go Go Gadget Homeland Security Department!
The city of Washington, the 24-hour cable news outlets and the blogosphere are a-twitter about the departure of Homeland Security Tom Ridge. But seriously, was anybody really surprised? The Bushies dodged a bullet on November 2 and they know it. They're as surprised as anyone that they didn't get fired.
So Ridge has got to be thanking his lucky stars that he gets to leave town under his own power. He can strut out of town, leaving the creaking hulk of American "security" behind him. Now the big question is: who will replace him?
Josh Marshall seems to be torn between Frances Townsend and Asa Hutchinson. Kos seems to think Joe Lieberman is gonna get the job.
But I know who to pick. I know the perfect one for the position.
The name's Gadget. Inspector Gadget.
Hey, why not? He's at least as qualified as Ridge was. Gadget has a background in law enforcement. He battled a notorious terrorist, Dr. Claw, for years and protected the Homeland from God knows how many sinister attacks. He's quite tech-savvy and will use the latest law-enforcement innovations to bring the bad guys to justice.
He's honest, dependable and hard-working. He doesn't fuck up any more often than Ridge did. And whenever Gadget does fuck up, Penny and Brain will always be there to help him out.
And Gadget can play the Washington game. He's not going to let intertagency politics get to him. No, sir. He'll just bear down and get the job done. No way Osama BIn Laden would last four years with Inspector Gadget on the case.
Not a chance.
