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Thursday, May 11, 2006
 
By The Power Of Grayskull!


"Only three others know my secret..."

Rarely has a pop-culture essay cracked me up like Sam Anderson's delightful piece in Slate, "Rediscovering He-Man". Sam writes eloquently about how He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was a bright spot in his otherwise dismal childhood, and how he recently rediscovered the series on DVD. As you might expect, the series doesn't look as good to him now as it did in 1983.

And He-Man doesn't seem quite as, um, manly as he did in 1983 either:

The best part about rewatching He-Man, after the initial nostalgia-burst, was tracking the show's hilarious accidental homo-eroticism—an aspect I missed completely as a first-grader. In the ever-growing lineup of "outed" classic superheroes, He-Man might be the easiest target of all. It's almost too easy: Prince Adam, He-Man's alter ego, is a ripped Nordic pageboy with blinding teeth and sharply waxed eyebrows who spends lazy afternoons pampering his timid pet cat; he wears lavender stretch pants, furry purple Ugg boots, and a sleeveless pink blouse that clings like saran wrap to his pecs. To become He-Man, Adam harnesses what he calls "fabulous secret powers": His clothes fall off, his voice drops a full octave, his skin turns from vanilla to nut brown, his giant sword starts gushing energy, and he adopts a name so absurdly masculine it's redundant. Next, he typically runs around seizing space-wands with glowing knobs and fabulously straddling giant rockets. He hangs out with people called Fisto and Ram Man, and they all exchange wink-wink nudge-nudge dialogue: "I'd like to hear more about this hooded seed-man of yours!" "I feel the bony finger of Skeletor!" "Your assistance is required on Snake Mountain!" Once you start thinking along these lines, it's impossible to stop.

Back in college, the show was something my buddies and I watched every day. I don't remember discussing He-Man's sexuality (though there was certainly fiery debate surrounding the eternal Teela vs. The Sorceress question.)

For the record, I was always a Sorceress man myself. She was kind of aloof and mysterious, and come on, you knew she was experienced. Guys dig that.



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