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Friday, September 08, 2006
If Philip K. Dick Worked For The RNC
It's clear that the Republican National Committee has lots of money, and even more time, on its collective hands. Because yesterday they unveiled a laughable -- oh, I'm sorry -- a chilling alternative-history web site.

Imagine this terrifying future, America: it's 2007 and the Democrats --- gasp! -- have taken over the House of Representatives!

Washington – Two years ago, Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) held a mock impeachment hearing. It was in the basement of the Capitol. Only Democrats were present. The news media, aside from a few progressive bloggers and the Capitol Hill newspapers, barely noticed.

What a difference an election makes.

Yesterday, the cameras were whirring, the lights were glaring, and the eyes of the nation were on Chairman Conyers as – at precisely 9:00 a.m. – he gaveled into session the first formal House Judiciary Committee hearing into impeachment proceedings for President George W. Bush.

And there's more to this dystopian nightmare. Tax cuts for the rich are repealed! The freeways are choked with increased traffic caused by the apparent creation of millions of new federal workers out of thin air! Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton are sitting next to each other! And smiling!


But relax, my friend. Relax. It's only fiction. Like the cinematic classic Red Nightmare, it is only a cautionary tale.

But it might come true if we're not careful. If we don't dutifully vote for the Republicans, you might wake up one morning to find that this nightmare has come to pass.

Of course, the RNC's efforts aren't likely to be as prescient as those of the Onion, which published its now-famous satirical piece in January 2001:

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

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